By Tay Tian Yan
December 10, 2010
DEC 10 — Julian Assange was arrested, but the leaks go on...
Malaysia is hardly mentioned in the 250,000 confidential cables so far released.
Why only countries like the United States, Britain, China and North Korea alongside a couple of distinguished figures in the likes of Azerbaijan’s first lady and Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew can claim to have secrets?
Are you trying to hint that Malaysia is immaterial? Or Malaysia’s secrets are too hard to decipher? Or the country simply does not have any secret at all?
Impossible!
Since many countries have maintained diplomatic relations with us, and the diplomats from these countries need to submit regular reports to their parent countries, by logic there should be a multitude of confidential cables.
To avoid excessive embarrassment on the part of WikiLeaks over the lack of decoded confidential cables from Malaysia, I have drafted a cable purportedly sent from an embassy here back to the parent country just for your perusal.
Subject: The Malaysia you may not have heard of
From the investigations carried out in secret by the Embassy staff, we have discovered some secrets many people are not aware of in Malaysia.
Malaysia is actually one of the wealthiest nations on Earth, whose people enjoying living standards far exceeding those of many developed states.
In this resourceful country, daily necessities are inexpensive, and everyone can afford relatively lavish life.
For instance, a politician hailing from a humble family can afford a one-acre Balinese mansion having worked only a few years as mentri besar (equivalent to our Governor).
According to the politician in question, the two plots of land with a housing unit is worth only RM3.5 million, about US$1.1 million, a price deemed impossible elsewhere in the world.
Although he has some minor problems at this moment, and will have to explain some of his transactions to the court, he appears completely calm, maintaining that all has said is true.
He was a small-town dentist, a profession he claims has brought him RM60,000 a month (way higher than what our President makes) before he came to politics, and it was with this income that he built himself the posh mansion.
We can deduce from here that dentists are indeed in high demand in Malaysia, and the Embassy suggests that a few dental colleges be set up here to cater to the rising demand.
Sure enough we cannot assume that the income has been derived from his political career.
Malaysian politicians are known for their utter incorruption, which the authorities have said is of a level comparable to Hong Kong.
Moreover, residential units are extremely cheap in this country. A deputy minister has told the
Parliament housing prices rise only a meagre 3.5 per cent over the past 20 years, most definitely the lowest in the world.
The Embassy suggests that we urgently send a delegation to Malaysia to study its housing price policy.
Besides housing, Malaysia also boasts one of the highest car ownerships in the world. Having a few cars parked in the porch of a residential house is a common scene in this country.
The country is home to two national carmakers churning out vehicles almost identical to
Japanese cars in design at half the cost.
The Embassy therefore also concludes that a study tour of Malaysia’s automobile industry is both relevant and imperative.
The extravagance of Malaysia is best seen in its burgeoning tourist industry. Malaysians, in particular politicians, can be seen everywhere from London, Sydney to Shanghai, many are generous grabbers of landmark properties in these leading metropolises.
The Embassy therefore suggests that we build more luxurious mansions in our country, and group them under a specified Malaysian Housing Zone. — mysinchew.com
Malaysia is hardly mentioned in the 250,000 confidential cables so far released.
Why only countries like the United States, Britain, China and North Korea alongside a couple of distinguished figures in the likes of Azerbaijan’s first lady and Singapore’s Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew can claim to have secrets?
Are you trying to hint that Malaysia is immaterial? Or Malaysia’s secrets are too hard to decipher? Or the country simply does not have any secret at all?
Impossible!
Since many countries have maintained diplomatic relations with us, and the diplomats from these countries need to submit regular reports to their parent countries, by logic there should be a multitude of confidential cables.
To avoid excessive embarrassment on the part of WikiLeaks over the lack of decoded confidential cables from Malaysia, I have drafted a cable purportedly sent from an embassy here back to the parent country just for your perusal.
Subject: The Malaysia you may not have heard of
From the investigations carried out in secret by the Embassy staff, we have discovered some secrets many people are not aware of in Malaysia.
Malaysia is actually one of the wealthiest nations on Earth, whose people enjoying living standards far exceeding those of many developed states.
In this resourceful country, daily necessities are inexpensive, and everyone can afford relatively lavish life.
For instance, a politician hailing from a humble family can afford a one-acre Balinese mansion having worked only a few years as mentri besar (equivalent to our Governor).
According to the politician in question, the two plots of land with a housing unit is worth only RM3.5 million, about US$1.1 million, a price deemed impossible elsewhere in the world.
Although he has some minor problems at this moment, and will have to explain some of his transactions to the court, he appears completely calm, maintaining that all has said is true.
He was a small-town dentist, a profession he claims has brought him RM60,000 a month (way higher than what our President makes) before he came to politics, and it was with this income that he built himself the posh mansion.
We can deduce from here that dentists are indeed in high demand in Malaysia, and the Embassy suggests that a few dental colleges be set up here to cater to the rising demand.
Sure enough we cannot assume that the income has been derived from his political career.
Malaysian politicians are known for their utter incorruption, which the authorities have said is of a level comparable to Hong Kong.
Moreover, residential units are extremely cheap in this country. A deputy minister has told the
Parliament housing prices rise only a meagre 3.5 per cent over the past 20 years, most definitely the lowest in the world.
The Embassy suggests that we urgently send a delegation to Malaysia to study its housing price policy.
Besides housing, Malaysia also boasts one of the highest car ownerships in the world. Having a few cars parked in the porch of a residential house is a common scene in this country.
The country is home to two national carmakers churning out vehicles almost identical to
Japanese cars in design at half the cost.
The Embassy therefore also concludes that a study tour of Malaysia’s automobile industry is both relevant and imperative.
The extravagance of Malaysia is best seen in its burgeoning tourist industry. Malaysians, in particular politicians, can be seen everywhere from London, Sydney to Shanghai, many are generous grabbers of landmark properties in these leading metropolises.
The Embassy therefore suggests that we build more luxurious mansions in our country, and group them under a specified Malaysian Housing Zone. — mysinchew.com
The other Asia Pacific cities that made the top ten were Hong Kong - 5, Singapore - 8, Sydney – 9 and Seoul - 10.